Dad jokes are like tabasco sauce: a little bit goes a long ways. Reading through this many dad jokes would kill a normal person which is why we always ask Brenn Bybee and Stephen Cannon, our two resident dad joke archivists, to handle the mentally radioactive material. They were only given the jokes and not who submitted them so that they could be like any good father, completely impartial and fair.
The judges have spoken and here are the results:
1st Place Winners:
Jake Gould – I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me. She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?” I replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
Suzanne Hodson – Meta dad jokes:
Q: When does a joke become a dad joke?
A: When it becomes apparent.
Q: Why do dads feel the need to tell such bad jokes?
A: They just want to help you become a groan up.
I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!
It’s inappropriate to make a ‘dad joke’ if you’re not a dad. It’s a faux pa.
Honorable Mentions:
Kara Hancock – How do you catch a polar bear? You cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it.. when the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the icehole!
Pete Wolfley – Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
Other Submissions
| Cyle Cedarstrom | What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment |
| Keri Rugg | What concert costs just 45 cents? -50 Cent featuring Nickelback. HAHAHA |
| Trinity. | Me: Wanna Hear a Knock Knock Joke? You: Yeah sure. Me: Okay, you start. You: Knock Knock… Me: Who’s there? You: Uh………….. Me: 🙂 |
| Tom Nisson | Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack. |
| Grant Allen | How do you get a elephant in the refrigerator? You open up the door and put it in and close the door? How do you get a giraffe in the refrigerator? You open up the door take out the elephant and put the giraffe in and close the door. The Lion King had a meeting, and all the animals were there but one, which animal? The giraffe, he was still in the refrigerator. You’re on a safari in Africa, and you need to cross crocodile infested waters, how do you get across? You swim, all the crocodiles were at the Lion King meeting. |
| April Nielson | Mountains aren’t funny, they’re hill-areas! |